2p!AmericaXReader Plague 4

2p!AmericaXReader Plague 4
There is swearing. You better fucking remember this everytime you read a 2p!America fanfic.
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You sweat dropped. "Wut."
He dismissed you with a wave of his hand, still looking into the foliage, as if he were the emperor. "Shut up."
You blinked and seized this opportunity to meditate. Breathe. 'One.' Let it out. Brea-
You yelped as two strong arms easily picked you up and slung you over someone's shoulder.
"Shut the ff up, bb!" "America" ran into the bushes. You silently growled. When would you be able to meditate?! "Someone's fricking following us."
You rolled your eyes. "Maybe one of the countries are worried about me. Maybe Li-"
"America" cut you off. "A really tall and well-built guy who has a bloodthirsty expression on his face?"
You blinked. "But that could mean Germany's worried-"
"America" cut you off again. "I was just hinting Russia, ok? Just because I'm different and I've got this illness doesn't mean I have amnesia."
You furrowed your brows. 'Illness? The amount of time I've spent with him means I've definetely caught it. It's probably just a figure of speech.' You jumped when you found that "America" now looked like a hobo.
He smirked. "Do I really look that unattractive?"
You ignored his attempt at flirting. "Yeah. Yeah you do. Why have you got dirt all over you?"
He rolled his eyes. "Have you been to any wars? To mask your scent!!!"
You held back a giggle. "Don't you use... dung?"
Was it just you, or did "America" turn a tad green? "Well, it's not like you've done it before!"
You laughed. "Why do you think I carry all this stuff in my underclothes? I've done it so many times you wouldn't believe your eyes!!!"
He scooted away. "I can't believe I carried you."
"I can't believe you don't know how many animals have urinated in this soil, either."
His eyes widened and he slowly looked down at himself. "You bb... bb... annoying fricking thing!" 'Why can't I swear in front of her?!'
You laughed at his childishness. "You kiss people with that dirty mouth?"
He failed a smirk due to the fact he was covered in soil. (let's just say he SOILED himself HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! you don't get it? fine! be that way!!!) "Lots. And at least animals have peed in this, so it masks my scent!" His voice held a tinge of disgust.
You grinned. "But not enough."
"You are going to finish your conversation now, da? I have been waiting for long."
To your surprise, Russia was waiting patiently with no trace of a dark aura.
"Hey, Russia! We were just talking about wars!" You hugged him, 'cause you're just bad-ass like that. Russia just patted your back awkwardly. He hadn't really gotten used to hugs, even though you gave them to him all the time since you joined the countries.
"America" huffed impatiently and you broke the hug.
"Sorry, hugs are only available when you're clean." You feigned sympathy.
"America" turned crimson, but due to anger or embarrassment, you weren't sure. "Did I SAY I WANTED any of your DAMN hugs, bb... fool?"
You burst into laughter. "Fool? It sounds so weird when you say it!!!"
"Marry me marry me MARRY ME MARRY ME!!!" You hadn't noticed, but Belarus was now chasing a crying Russia around the forest.
"Noooo! Go away!" Russia's voice echoed through the whole forest.
You giggled as "America" looked away and slung a dirty arm over your shoulders, both of you side-by-side, sitting cross-legged, and watched the movie of unrequited love play out before you.